well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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