I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
