I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
