just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
