I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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