her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You ruined the universe
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
