I need help removing her.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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