Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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