Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
