It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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