her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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