i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
