I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
