I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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