After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
