Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
