come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
