So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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