That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So vagazzling was a success
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
