singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
