if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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