super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
