Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
