Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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