i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
