dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
