shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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