i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
