My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
