I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
