just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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