It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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