Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
