You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
