The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
