So drunk its hurt
I'm going to jail i love you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
