Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
