bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
