a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The uberlube is also flammable
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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