Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
