weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
