the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
