I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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