did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
