Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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