So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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