I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
