hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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