There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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