look no pants
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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