I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i believe in u and ur pee
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
