Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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